BE HONEST AND DON’T ASSUME
Please be honest with your significant other about what you do or don’t want. For example, I had been meeting with a couple for several weeks trying to help with their communication. When they came in to a session she was smiling, and he was frustrated. She sarcastically told him to explain what happened. He said that one of his friends invited him to golf 18 holes so when he told her about it, she said, “Whatever”, so he went. He indicated that when he got home she was mad and has been ever since. I looked at her and asked why she was upset. She said that ‘he knew I didn’t want him to go, but he went anyway’. I agreed he may have known but asked her why she hadn’t told him she didn’t want him to go. She said she doesn’t want to be his mom. I advised her that she should have been honest with him about what she wanted. We discussed that she could have told him she was looking forward to spending the day with him and ask if he could only golf 9 holes so that they had the afternoon together. Advised them that it is always better to say what you mean instead of assuming they will do what you are thinking.